Posted: under Musings.
Through recent events I feel as if my head is getting clear of the fog that has debilitated my writing urge. Each week when my blog counter would send an email giving me information on the views of my site for the week. When I was first starting the blog it was a joy to see that people would take the time to read and comment on my stories. It fueled my ego to say the least. It also became a millstone. At least in my head. It brought upon pressure that I was not prepared to deal with. Which in turn made my life more complicated when it started to effect my thinking as well as my general health. So after a number of weeks I started to take my self seriously. This is complicating the already complicated. Something that I have found is… I happen to be phenom, a veritable natural. Not a good trait.
IT is amazing to see it now (hopefully) much clearer. I keep saying to my self a certain truism that, “I never do anything I do not want to do.” I believe it to be easier to deny and stay in a fog. It kind of gave me shelter from the elements. Allowed me to function day to day with no penalties. With no effect. I know I did not advance but I did get through. If this is not a game the sole purpose of life is to get to the end. Game or no game I am ready to play again.
The mind is welling but the spirit is weak. That describes me to a Tee. (Ok, I hear those snickers from my followers of the blog)
Jul 22 2010
Posted: under Friendship, Life Experience, Musings.
It is Sunday and it is beautiful outside with clouds in the air and a gentle breeze blowing across the sage and sand of central Texas. It is one of those days that an old fart like me likes to think of as a good day to do nothing. To nice to work. So I have set my sites on the bed in my bedroom while poor little Kellen is stuck inside because there aren’t any friends available to play with outside. He approached me in my bedroom as I was watching the latest tennis tournament on TV.
“I am bored.” He was not starting out on a good note with that comment. Personal pet peeve of mine. I answered, “Well, I like to think of the times that I am alone to be a time spent with someone that is my best friend. I never(remember I am old)seemed to be bored when I am alone any more. I do remember the times when it had crossed my lips when I was younger but thanks to the help of my older brother I did not make the mistake of saying it in front of my parents. Unfortunately Karl did nake mention of being bored and our Father definitely taught young Karl the error of his ways by directing him to proceed post haste into the pasture and collect all the pretty flowers of the dratted weed… the thistle. It is wonderful little flower that gives new meaning to the saying don’t bite the hand that feeds you. Poor Karl suffered for a few minutes in the pasture until he was scathed from head to foot. I cannot remember how many flowers he actually did pick and place in a bag. No matter… the lesson was a strong one that was learned the first time.
Poor Kellen does not have the aide of an older brother to lead him through the problems of young boy as I had had. His brother spends a lot of time teasing young Kellen. It is fun for Kellen but it does not teach him anything other than the fact that his brother is older, smarter, and bigger. I think that I have tried to convey this same kind of education with my young son, Kellen. Fortunately… or unfortunatley… he has not made the same immediate grasp of the dire situation that he is in by stating to his father that he is bored. Remember I am happy to be breathing and laying in a bed. Boredom only comes to mind when I have nothing to do. Since Kellen is at my side I really can never say that I do not have nothing to do. Consequently I want Kellen to understand that the only reason he is bored is because he chooses.
I hope that Kellen is not as hard headed as his father. It took me a childhood, three marriages, and cancer to come to an understanding about being bored. Please young son…don’t do as I did …. do as I say. Yeah… right…? I can see some head butting in my future. I am excited!!
May 24 2010
Posted: under Musings.
Gosh, it has been wet down here in Central Texas. It is going on weeks since we had a full day of sunshine. I do not state this because I am complaining. It would be the complete opposite of that vector. You see a few weeks ago I planted flowers in my little six square foot garden. It has been a plan that took years to get accomplished. Not that it was so hard. Even though I did scoop every shovel full of dirt that went into the six foot garden… twice…. to place it there. Well, it took a garden tractor, two wheeled wagon(which I assembled myself) , and my Dad’s surveyors kit that was setting in the garage at the house when the brothers distributed all the tools that my Dad had accumulated amongst ourselves.
Last year I raised pigmy corn, pigmy stringbeans, and some pretty big butter squash. Don’t know why the beans and the corn turned pigmy on me but the butter squash cooked pretty good in the oven, I am reticent to say that it was the seeds in both the good and the bad crops. I thought I had fertilized adequately. I tended to weeds( my likely to the detriment of the vegetables). I watered faithfully.(What does it mean when the leaves turn brown?) I am from Iowa where it can go weeks without rain and the gardens still grow. So I thought that if it was watered regularly with lots of sunshine things would grow by leaps and bounds. Such was not my experience I am sad to say. The corn row was a cute little site with its pygmy little stalk and it pigmy little tassel, and of course the pigmy little ear replete with silk at the upper part of the ear. I never got a brace root. Possible since I did hill up on a lay by either.(Old farmer talk that my peers might remember). I heard my Father and uncles all say that in August and my friend, Raymond (Junger) Jungerson, referred to it many a times during our pinochle games at the town pool hall.
That was one year of work. Good thing I have no limit on budgeted time. I tend to be over budget on everything else starting with the bank. First Federal Home Mortgage & Hage(FFHmM&H) was not even eligible for the federal bail out offered by Obama because even Bernie Madoff told people not to invest in this fly by night outfit. FFHmM&H is only slightly better shape than dba Knotty Pine Construction (aka K. Hage) a general contracting company and its small but ever growing subsidery, Kbox Keepsakes. If you added all the assets of the two companies one would figure that bankrupcy was in its future.
You know the saying that the a boy’s toys do not stop they only get more expensive. As a friend of mine once said to me about the tools in his shop, “I have enough tools to make a space ship to the moon with all left handed threads. I would like to think that way for my shop tools as well. I said I like to think about it I did not say it was true. Thank goodness that the First Federal Bank of Ellen(FFBE) had a moment of clarity and helped finance the whole show for another season. It has been ten years for FFHmM&H and FFBE working hand in hand. First it started with organization. FFBE is wonderful on computers and spreadsheets. It is a good thing too. Knotty Pine Construction would be dust in the wind with out the ongoing support of FFBE finacially and providing reciept records to let me know the cost of the project. It takes a good construction foreman, master mechanic, and surveyor to keep up with the one and a half yard total production for the entire plan. Maintenance on the lawn tractor, yard vacuum, and two wheeled trailer would cripple a man more than me. That is why I take it to a mechanic when trouble starts rearing its head. I have a rare talent. No matter how big and no matter how long I worked a machine I have always managed to break dpwn. Never was much good at fixing. One way to assure that nothing breaks down is to not work the iron. This is illustrated by the hour meter on my five year old lawn tractor that has less than a hundred hours on it. It is not even broke in yet. It takes a good man to purchase something nice like that and not use it.
Yes, it is spring in Central Texas and the flowers are blooming. Even the ones that I planted weeks ago. I had a neighbor compliment me the way the flowers were growing in the flower box. Thank goodness for the weeks of rainy weather because the truth be known if it hadn’t rained I think I would have managed to kill most if not all the flowers by now. The saving of the flower garden from total mismanagement can be contributed to my complete dislike of work and rainy days in general. Some people have worked harder than me but I don’t know any one that is harder on themselves then me. I looked at that garden every over cast morning. The days of rain kept me from messing with the flower bed. Now after weeks of rainy weather I am happy to announce that despite my best efforts to completely kill my freshly planted spring flowers they are growing and the neighborhood friendship is too. Because of the flower garden I met a new neighbor this week. I sure love spring showers!!
Apr 24 2010
