Yesterday, I wrote of the death of a friend. Funny… I feel happy for him.. because I know that he is free of pain. All the stuff that happens with cancer the pain is the most miserable. Drugs help manage the pain but does nothing to help manage the life which is creating and enduring the pain.
I have to think of his wife. Alone and full of questions. Knowing the answers does not mitigate the fear that is created when formulating a plan. TMO…(to many options) …it is a bane as far as I am concerned. Do the right thing comes to mind. That in and of itself is pretty basic. Yet, the way the permutations of each decision multiply into unknown territory the ability to make a right decision without the feeling of guilt that is brought about when one is trying to make the right decision is a difficult task.
I will suggest to Shelli that she try to deal with her feelings using the stages of grief to help her through the understanding of the whole situation. Today my mind is calm. I have had to many days of the ups. To many days of the downs. I like calm. Peace is something that one wishes for when times are hard. John had many hard times. ”Faught it(the cancer) like a tooper!” Were Shelli’s words.
When I received an email from a friend about John Mills I did not at first realize that it was a forwarded message from Louetta Shiplett. I have know and worked with Louetta many years ago and always found her to be of good character. Early in my construction career I worked with her husband, Ron, on the paving crew of H&H Contractors. He was the paving foreman and she in turn worked in the office of the company and often was assigned to scale house duties. So I had a lot of contact with these people. Most of it was through work but I have had occasion to meet with and communicate with them outside of work as well. In my opinion they are real salt of the earth kind of people. Only need to mention this is the fact that the forwarded email was from Louetta who is housing,helping and consoling all at the same time while Sherri is in Washington State. Kidos should be given to Ron and Louetta for being the good people that they are and I am patting myself on the back for seeing that in them years ago.
I am a lucky fellow. Shelli’s call about her husband must be my wake up call. I need to get a grip. Today is the new normal So what? So get up and start the new normal. What is the alternative? Yet another new normal is it not? As I have always said to my wife. We can only play the cards that we are dealt. Nothing wrong with holding them close to the chest but you have to play in this game. Folding is not an option.
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