Through recent events I feel as if my head is getting clear of the fog that has debilitated my writing urge. Each week when my blog counter would send an email giving me information on the views of my site for the week. When I was first starting the blog it was a joy to see that people would take the time to read and comment on my stories. It fueled my ego to say the least. It also became a millstone. At least in my head. It brought upon pressure that I was not prepared to deal with. Which in turn made my life more complicated when it started to effect my thinking as well as my general health. So after a number of weeks I started to take my self seriously. This is complicating the already complicated. Something that I have found is… I happen to be phenom, a veritable natural. Not a good trait.
IT is amazing to see it now (hopefully) much clearer. I keep saying to my self a certain truism that, “I never do anything I do not want to do.” I believe it to be easier to deny and stay in a fog. It kind of gave me shelter from the elements. Allowed me to function day to day with no penalties. With no effect. I know I did not advance but I did get through. If this is not a game the sole purpose of life is to get to the end. Game or no game I am ready to play again.
The mind is welling but the spirit is weak. That describes me to a Tee. (Ok, I hear those snickers from my followers of the blog)
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