I woke up thinking that the house will be filled with family once again with the comings and going of an active household filled with grownups, teenagers, and the drama that the mix creates. Ah to be back to normal again. Or what I like to think of as normal. Lots of activity interspersed with constant work. How we got together socially is beyond me. I should have been to tired. What ever we were doing was hard work. My jobs always seemed to have the strength of my back as the most needed requirement but it allowed me freedom of living an active lifestyle as a single man. Adventure was always at my beck and call.
I continued thinking about some of the comments I had heard about the way that I treat life in general. ”OK Kirk, you are always so positive.” ” One can do what ever they want.” OK, I do believe that…So I am an optimist…is that such a bad thing? I have stood in some pretty deep shit in my life. Many a time it was clear up to my knee’s. Often literally if not figuratively. When you only have a few things to offer in life you tend to do what is afforded you. Since I was willing to work and to work hard for short periods of time that included long hours so I could sit around a cabin with my friends recalling a hunting trip of the past while we are getting ready for the latest one in a cabin moved or constructed with our other wise free time because construction is only a few weeks of hectic hours and few months of boring yet blissful life.
I have often felt productive in my life.(although I really do not know what I have done that was so productive but I sure did feel that way) There were accomplishments that gave me strength to be what I am today. I have flourished when I have worked hard. I feel good about my abilities to do what ever it is at hand. Turn on my mind’s MP3 player with a few tunes that go through my head as if I were in the recording studio. Huh, funny I don’t know any of the words. Yet the music is crisp and clear in my mind. Maybe my hard work was the same feeling that long distance runners get? Something about endorphins that build up in your body and give you a high after a long run. I must have had endorphins building up in my body during the winter of 1987 while I was living in Alaska’s interior on the shores of the Yukon River. How else could I explain how a man in his right mind would get on and operate a bald headed D6 dozer with no grousers on the ice of the Yukon River as a excavator digs at the river bank and shapes the shoulder under the water. In order to do that I was required to work perpendicular to the excavator and the river bank and push the spoils out onto the ice away from the backhoe and the shoulder that the excavator was creating. Not a bad job if it were July(of course a dozer would sink). This was February. That means it “WILL” be cold. Not might be. Not maybe. Not could be but guaranteed and certified that it “WILL” be cold. Ya it must have been the endorphins. Only a person who was high would do something like that I am sorry to say.
I guess there is a moral to this story. If one is standing in shit up to there knees one must be on drugs! That is it. Work hard and develop a keen sense of those endorphins building in your body. That numbing effect that allows you to be tired and continue to keep doing the same thing over and over. Pick up the pail…Dump the pail. Return the pail. Fill the pail. Then start the whole process over again. Admittedly each pail does produce the effect of one less to pick up so the job eventually does get completed. Those endorphins(drugs) must be what it was that allowed me to work that hard. No one in their right mind (not on drugs)would do such a thing.
With this week of the family being back together I guess I am going to go out and find those darn endorphins. I need to get back into the whole drug scene again. I kind of liked being tired and hooked on those endorphins building in my body. I was working around family during the days of deep shit as I recall. Now that was a high. I wonder if it was the endorphins or was it love of family? I am not to educated or the sharpest tool in the shed and I read the New York Times to feel smart just to give you an idea of how high brow I really am. LOL! Yet, in retrospect and in looking forward to the days ahead, I see that the drug of choice has always been love. A deep seeded root-ball bearing tree of life that is fed by that wondrous new drug of choice….LOVE! I am going to love my family like nobodies business this week. IN fact they might have to stage a drug intervention. I plan on over dosing with the boys, the daughter and the wife. Who said all drugs are bad? Not me…?
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