LDKBox

I woke up this morning thinking of a long time friend from my youth.  He was a very smart and talented guy.  He really was very philosophic.  Give him a beer, a bar, and some locals of the town and he would soon have everyone in stitches.  Together, Jerry and I had many conversations about farming, local politics, and family.  In one of those conversations it had been mentioned about the responsibility that parents endure for the shaping of a human mind.  When this information came to the fore I did not have any children.  I admit that I was wishing and hating all at the same time for Jerry’s lifestyle.  I am now in Jerry’s spot just 30 years later.  My thoughts run parallel to Jerry’s musings during the 70′s.  Mostly,  we have kids as the common denominator.  I remember this quote from Jerry as if it were said  a minute ago.  He said, “It is a heavy responsibility to mold a child’s mind.”  Who would of thought that a thirty year old quote from a deceased friend of my youth would be the topic of the day for my blog?

Shaping a child’s mind, body, and soul can be daunting, demanding, and challenging.  Yet the return yielded by the investment into a child’s body, mind, and soul  are off the charts.  My friend Jerry was a very smart man.  I went to school with him.  Some things you can’t hide and Jerry being smart was one of those things.  Now I,  on the other hand,  while not being dumb I can honestly say no one ever said that I was tooooo smart either.  This morning I really relate to what Jerry was trying to convery to me.  If Jerry can question his own abilities on shaping his own child’s life then surely I may,  as well.  

Last night my son”s chest was congested.  His stomach was a little upset and he was feeling  over all.  pretty bad but not bad enough to lay down during the day when it was play time but  bad enough to make it uncomfortable breathing when he found the lights off and it was time to go to bed in his room.  He ended up sleeping with us last night.  He couldn’t sleep in his room.  It took 30 seconds after the lights were turned out in our room and he was asleep.  There was no doubt that his breathing was difficult.  One could hear the congestion as he coughed and sniffeled.  I fell asleep worried about the health of my son.  I found it very difficult to rest last night.  Consequently I arose earlier than usual.  With in minutes Kellen was in the kitchen with me.  Sitting in the kitchen with my son on my lap is an experience that will never to be equaled.  He felt so bad physically and was very comforted as we sat for a moment with my arms around him while  at the kitchen table.  The feeling is a culmination of giving, sharing,trusting, caring, and loving the one your with.  If I could bottle it I would.  For I would be a millionaire  monetarily immediately.  I will non the less be content with being a millionaire mentally.  The experience of bonding with my son can not be anything other than priceless. 

My son woke up this morning rubbing his eyes.  He always triesto rub the sleep away.  As he entered into the kitchen he padded through the entry with an accumstomed gate of an experienced dirt hand heading to his dozer to start his shift on the road crew.   As he plopped down unto my lap.  (Notice I said down…he is almost as tall as his Mother) We both had a deja vu’ moment from the previous nite.  As he hugged me he whispered in my ear,”Thanks for taking care of me, Daddy.”     PRICELESS!   Need I say more?

Comments (0) Sep 09 2009

Sardine.  One would not think that this word would be used to convey pleasure.  Whether it was pleasant or unpleasant.  To me it would naturally convey a picture of a small fish packed in a can that smells horrendous or a large school of sardines swimming in the water.  Well,  today I am going to talk about words and how they were used in my world as a youth.  Suffice it to say I will mainly focus on the words of my Father.  I wish that I could say that I heard these words used on for other people but alas I am sad and happy to say that it was me that I really believe was the impetus in his choice of words.  Mostly I say this because of a comment made by a sibling some years back.  It has to do with a conversation about who in the family seemed to get the most spankings.  Of course it was me.  the part that I want to focus on was when I said that I seem to remember getting the most spankings of all the brothers and sisters.  My sibling replied without any rancour, “And….Why do you think that is, Kirk?”  As a realist, I deduced from this that I seemed to be a bit more bent on not changing so I needed to be coaxed more than most. 

 There are other words that hit the play list often in terms of my life.  Sardine just was the tip of the iceberg.  Another term that I heard often was, “I never seen the beat.”   Some times that was a statement.  Sometimes it was spoken plaintively. And sometimes it was an exclamation.  All said in a series of three.   Just imagine a kid that really does not understand what is going on and is really just having some fun but for some inexplicable reason whatever I was doing seem to break as I was doing it.  Now also picture my Father viewing this as he approaches me.  I know he was shaking his head the moment that he saw me.  Why else would he walk towards me.  To tell me,  that he never saw the beat?  The first time it was said he is almost smiling because some where in his head it seems funny.  The problem continues to grow when I fail to stop when he approaches me.  Thus changing the tone of his voice to stern.  A sure sign that anger was soon forthcoming.  The third time it is said, “I never seen the beat!!!” is said with anger while he is grabbing me by the arm to get my attention.  My Father said, “What were you thinking?”   It does not matter what I was doing it was something that did not need to be done.  I answered. “I dunno.”  

Another of his favorite words was pip.  Not my everyday word for sure but I remember him using it often and even more surprising is the fact that I can remember a person named Shorty who was an order cattle buyer that my Father used when he purchased feeder cattle for his feed lot that my Father described  as a real pip.  How may pips have you known in your life?  In my life’s definition book,  which I see clearly in my mind’s eye, there is always a picture of Shorty.  In this version pip it is a good thing.  Other times pip would be used as an expletive.  Not a good thing.  It is not that my Father did not use words to express his feelings.  He was a very good communicator.  What I find interesting is the use of certain words. 

When I was six years old we had a gentlemen that had retired from farming but still hired out as day labor with my Father.  His name was Pete and he always called me Cork.  I had heard of a corker from my Dad but I had never been called a corker.  But on this day going down memory lane I remember now why Pete called me Cork.  It is because the day that he arrived I over heard my Father introduce everyone to Pete.  Pete asked my Father who the little boy was on the lawn near the cob house next to the shop where everyone had gathered?   My Father simply stated the I was his youngest son and that I was a real corker.  So from that day on Pete called me, the little boy on the lawn near the cob house next to the shop where everyone gathered, Cork.  All because my Father had given me the dubious title of a real “corker.”  Funny how the picture of Shorty as a pip and the picture of what a corker looks like in my mind’s eye differ in clarity.  Ha! IT is my story and I am stickin to it.

My Mother was very proud of the fact that her husband loved her and their children very much.  She also said that she  had never seen my Father drunk.  Although it one would be hard pressed to say that after a trip to Ashton Steak house where Floyd and Mabel Halstensen would often travel together to have a dinner out.  While there I can remember both,  Floyd and my Father,  slamming down some small whiskey sours as fast as the bartender ould make them.  To a limit of three before dinner and one after dinner drink.  Watching my Father enjoy these drinks one would never guess that he never got drunk.  He simply enjoyed it.  He often told me that if liking to drink means to get drunk than he would be drunk all the time.  Yet because he liked it he never abused alcohol.  Thus my Mother could always be proud.  

She also was proud of the fact that my Father did not use curse or swear words.  But if you had heard the tone of the words Sardine, Pip, and corker one would readily admit that they were real rip snortin words that have every bit as much bite as the worst swear words ever to have been heard.  So maybe my Father did not swear but……..He never saw the beat… either!!!  LOL!

Comments (0) Sep 07 2009

Do what you say and say what you do.   These words are the sum of my philosophy of life.  I am having problems living with those words this date.   It is all because of a calendar, a telephone call, and a conversation with a doctor.   I hate having to do things that I do not like to do.  Consequently,  I have a three day old beard, my lawn does not get mowed enough, and I do not wash my vehicle as often as I should.   There are also things like paying interest on loans, paying for sin taxes, and the local raffles and fund-raisers that my son brings home from school in his homework packet that are on my list as well. 

This morning I had a conversation with a nurse who was instructing me on the  procedure I would have in the  hospital here in Killeen tomorrow morning.  She asked the reason why I was having the procedure?  This is where my problem with my philosophy of life is getting a little hitch in the get-a-long.  Why AM I having this procedure???!!!  I hate procedures.  In fact I do not have much good to say about the word itself much less the predicament it puts me in tomorrow morning.  I am making this decision under duress.  It is because of a Dr. in the Army who diagnosed my cancer.  He asked me, “Are you ready for the fight of your life?”  I do not know how many times I have lamented over how cavalier my answer was at the time.  “I will do what ever it takes to beat the cancer.”  I said this as I stood up an shook his hand.   Looking him straight in the eye trying to see if he noticed just how big a BS artist I really was.   But I said it, I remember it, and I am living it.  I am hating my philosophy right about now.  How wry is that?

A few day earlier I had received a phone call from the hospital.  In my mind I knew I should not answer the call.  We have caller ID through our TV connection so I knew who was calling.  I answered it any way.  After being informed of the kind of procedure I remembered that this was scheduled months ago.    I have had this procedure before.  I am well aware of the process.  At this point I think the reader may see my problem with the philosophy thing.  I hate doing things that I do not like to do.  This procedure rates right up there in the top  five things that I have done in my life that I do not want to do again.  But I said I would attend, I remembered saying I would attend, and I am living…to attend.  I am hating my philosophy on life right about now.  How wry is that?

When I hung up the phone I had a few tempestuous moments devising a way to get out of this situation.  I happen to be at home alone at the time.  Ellen was out and about.  Kellen was outside playing with his friends.  I pondered not telling anyone about the procedure.  Hey, I have forgotten other as important items.  I could say I forgot.   Aas I often do I got up to break my concentration by pouring a fresh cup of coffee.  With the coffee cup in hand I stopped to let the dog out of the kennel before sitting back down to the kitchen chair.  After releasing the hound I turned and gazed at the calender hanging on the wall.  There it was on the calender.  7:00a.m. on the twenty fifth of August.  So much for the scam that I had been formulating in my head.  I wrote it, I remember writing it, and I am living…while I write it.  I am hating my philsophy on life right about now.  How rye is that?

It goes without saying that I need to consider the Ten Commandments, the Bible, and even the laws of our land when considering a pholosphy on life.  I couldn’t write the Ten Commandments as I learned them in Vacation Bible School oh those so many years ago. .  I cannot qoute the verses of the Bible that I have heard and read.  I cannot quote laws by statute either.  What I do know is the difference between fair and unfair.  I do know that you need to be smarter than the box.  I do know that you need to see what you are looking at.  I tell my son  everyday that if you have to lie about something you probably should not be doing it.   If it is not yours do not touch it.  Now I think that, “Do what you say and Say what you do”, covers almost everything for my son of 8 years.  What would make me think that it would not suffice for me?   All I can say is the devil made me do it. 

So I will be at the hospital tomorrow morning.   I will  have that procedure even though I do not want any part of it.  All because of a calender, a telephone call,  a conversation with a doctor and my philosophy of life… ”Do what you say and Say what you do”  It would appear that my philosophy of life is not as wry as it would seem…eh??

Comments (0) Aug 25 2009