It  was last month that I visited with Rex Rockhill and his wife Pam right here in Texas.  They were kind enough to stop and have a cup a coffee at a resturaunt here in Harker Heights.  Two hours have not passed quicker nor was there any problem keeping up the conversation.  I had a wonderful time.   I can only hope that Rex and Pam did as well.  Tripping down the memory lane with former classmates can be fun.  It is in stark contrast to the feeling imparted when considering the death of a classmate in an email.

I cannot remember the first meeting of my friend but I am sure it was in the fall of 1964.  We attended school in Lester,  Iowa that year.  Gosh it was an eye opening experience for this tow headed Norwegian.  We four communities congregating in Lester.  Lotsof new  faces from Alvord and Lester and the new kids from Larchwood and Inwood gathered and became used to each other.  Sam Moser was the big kid of the class.  Tall and dark headed he stood out amoungst the many blonde’s of the class.  Gene Bonyage was another member of that class.  Both would go down in the West Lyon annuls as great athletes but in my estimation these two did what I was unable to do. Stay married to there high school sweethearts.    They have remained married to the same person through these last 40 years.   Kudos to both couples.  I managed to stay married for a while but it took three times.  You know what they say.?  Third times the charm.

Anyway getting emails is a wonderful way to communicate.  IT is fast and simple.  When I opened the email on my computer I knew that it was from Sharon Moser.  I had a smile on my face.  She works in the elementary library where my nephew’s children go to school.  It is always nice to hear of good comments about the young boys.     But this email took the smile off my face quick.  Sharon informed me of our friend , Gene Bonyage,  had passed a day or so ago at his home with family and friends at his side.  He had fought the battle against colon cancer  and it had finally taken its toll on his body.  I am a cancer survivor myself and I have such tremendous empathy for the family of the departed.

Gene was a gregarious sort during high school.  Everyone liked Gene.  He was class President many times,  Emcee of several shows during high school ,  and part of the homecoming royalty our senior year.  He went on to graduate from college raise a family with his wife,  He went on to receive a Masters and a PhD. as the years progressed.  He ended up being a department head at a regional hospital.    I am sure that he was stellar in his work.  It seems so shallow for me to say that I will miss Gene.  I had not seen him since graduation.  That does not mean that I did not think about him.  He was a leading member of the 1969 football team that went 9 wins and 0 losses .  Sam Moser at his tackle position would open the hole and Gene would run through it.   I can say that I was a member of the team that had Gene Bonyage and Sam Moser.  Two of my heroes in life.  They did what I could not do.  They held a job and did not quit.  Both of these men are honorable men.

I have been thinking often of how I would like to be remembered after I die.   Well, if someone remembers me in the same light that I remember Gene Bonyage  then I would rest comfortably.  Here is to Gene Bonyage, a man that made my honorable men’s list, may he rest in peace and be with our Lord in heaven.

It was in the spring here in Texas when Willie and I first met.  I had started walking Kellen,  our son, the four blocks to the school in the morning and back again when school dismissed to give me some exercise, to build up some stamina,  and get out into the elements as a much needed break from the confines of the house while in recovery from cancer treatments.  My wife. Ellen,  had been taking Kellen to school in previous years when I was in Alaska working construction.   As I approached the school that afternnon  for the first time I am hailed by the school crossing guard.  She is a friendly sort named Ellen,  as it happens.  She is a wonderful little lady that is gregarious by nature.  Typical German stock.  It was here at the door of the pickup that the crossing guard was sitting in at the corner of the school parking lot that I met my friend Willie for the first time.

He was a slight built man about 5 ft. 8 in. tall.  He was a dapper dresser.  His white cotton shirt was pressed and creased in all the right places.  His blue jeans were not wrinkled and his shoes were shined.  He had close cropped gray hair with deep dark brown eyes that danced with delight when he laughed.  One could see from his movements that his once athletic frame had seen many a baseball, softball, or city league basketball games.  Some things are not easy to hide.  When Ellen introduced me to Willie as the husband of Ellen Hage he reached out his hand in greeting.  I could tell from the grip of his long supple hands that Willie had a quiet confidence of a man who appeared happy and adjusted.  His smile was warm and quite disarming.  His confidence and friendly nature made quick work of any nervousness or awkwardness upon first acquaintance.

It became the habit of the “parking lot crew”. as we later jokingly referred to each other, to arrive early  just to get in some extra chat time before school was dismissed at 2:45 pm.  Willie is a retired car dealer and Korean War Army Veteran.  Since both of us are retired we had a natural commonality.    It was during these conversations that our friendship blossomed.  While waiting for my child to get out of school I meet a man, who most likely I would have never met had I not had cancer, who would become one of those men in my life that I would like to emulate.  Willie is an honorable man.  High praise  that I limit to but a few.  He really is a man that does what he says and says what he does.  A personal philosophy that I have adopted and find it refreshing to know someone of the same ilk .

More on Wille tomorrow.

Having met recently with a classmate I have been reticent to post on the meeting because of my inability to post pictures of the lunch date.  My wife is at CES(Consumer Electronics Show) in Las Vegas this week.  She is the webmaster in this blogger’s world so that is not going to happen until she gets back from Vegas,  but I am looking forward to posting the meeting and how much it meant to me to have been able to spend time with such a great couple.  I will save the gushing for the real post but suffice to say “ecstatic” only touches the tip of the bountiful harvest of feelings gleaned from the long awaited meeting.

But getting back to reading old blogs…The memories that these recent blog sites bring out in me when I am perusing their archives gives me fodder for future posts.  I certainly am not going to write about the early years since not much was said about those times.  Grandpa Erickson died before I was born and Grandpa Hage died when I was approaching 10 years of age.  No memories of them …really…?  Lots of Aunt and Uncle  memories.  I am thankful.  Cousins on both side of the tree are in abundance.  Farm life…oh yes!!  Looking back it was wonderful and I lived through it.  How …?  Lucky would be the first thing to come to mind.  Blessed is the last thing…I know!!!

I am slowly working towards some subjects that are of interest to me to add to my post count.  There are important people in my life that have made a difference to me.  None of the important people would be considered famous but that does not mean that they are of no less import.  I met a Supreme Court Justice in Juneau in 1973.  He was famous in Alaska.  Pretty good athlete but was on the way down hill physically.  You know the type… the body’s spirit was more than willing but the body’s engine had lost a lot of compression and  could not get a head of steam.  Even though he made court rulings and made an effect on the life of Alaskans he really had no effect on me.  Hmmm ..Let’s see…? slow, short and old?   I am now of that same condition albeit not short… he still has no effect on me other than to marvel that he was still “able” at his age.

So… maybe my life was not full of famous people…. do I consider it bad?  No!   Would I like to hang around Tiger Woods these days? He famous these days.  Not a chance!!   He didn’t do anything that I didn’t do or attempt to do.  I cheated on my first wife.  I spent twenty years hating myself.(so will Tiger!)  I made phone calls to women.!?  I stayed out late and partied!!  But I did not have children and I did not have any money.  Which,  in retrospect,  is probably why I did not do worse things.  It always cost more money than I had.   Mitch Album wrote a book about his meeting with a man who got old and died.  He spoke of the way that this man had lived his life and his involvement with that man.  The story brings out the good things in this not so famous man’s life.  That is what reading blogs is about for me.  Bringing out the good things on the not so famous.  I have lived a life that was full of bad things and I should have known better.  I had a lot of not so famous people to use as a guide.  Even though I choose a life that may have been less than stellar I had wonderful not so famous guides with which I could have used to guide me along the way.  It is with these memories that I will,  in future posts,  start writing about the guides in my life.  All of them are not famous but some of them may be infamous.  Time will tell,  when I write(read) them the “riot act”,  on my blog.  HA!

One morning, years ago in Alaska,  as I was getting verbal instructions for the upcoming days work from my boss and owner of Exclusive Landscaping the construction company in Fairbanks, the elitist in-bred aristocrat entered the construction office smiling and made made reference to landscaping foreman Phil Petman.  The elitist in-bred aristocrat said very seriously, “You know Dan(Dan is the owner) I just left Little Phil.  I talked with him for five minutes and I have never felt better.  It is to bad I cannot put into pill form the feeling that I get after talking with Phil.  He is such a nice guy.   After talking with him you cannot walk away in a bad mood.”  I was dumbfounded.  Hmmm… the  in-bred aristocrat was saying something that I agreed with.  Phil is a very determined, hard working, and completely honorable human being.  He is a peer who should be emulated.  Not everybody’s able…?

As friends go I seemed to have accumulated an odd group.  Not odd in the sense that they are strange but leaning to the ecletic.  I have at least three friends from my industry over thirty years.   One friend in finance, others in education, tourism, business, the health field, military, and police work.   Most of these friendship were born though familiarity.  If you keep going back to the same place  you will eventually meet and like someone.  That is why friends are so special.  The commonality of familiarity makes for warm feelings that, if needed, can last a life time.   The early friendships of my youth give credence to my theory as do the friendships of my days of construction in Alaska.  The early friendships of my youth have been separated by distance, location, employment, and circumstance.  They remain intact for primarily one reason.  Trust.  Now my most recent friends are being tested the same way as the early friendships for they are in Alaska and I am in Texas.  As a construction worker one has a reputation to uphold.  It was never good to be considered wild with the equipment.  Working with humans on the ground with equipment that could and would crush or otherwise maim the ground person is a very serious occupation.  My friends in Alaska have that kind of trust in me.  As the friendships of my youth that are the most enduring have been separated by time and space so are the friends in Alaska experiencing the same dilemma.  Yet the friendships remain strong because of… “trust”…  Not everybody’s able…. ?

Lasting relationships don’t come by accident.  There is always a commonality.  Familiarity becomes a breeding ground for friendships.  Enduring friendships have trust.  Another condition for continuing friendship is “respect.”   This was brought to my attention by a longtime childhood friend, Ruth Johnson.  I had contacted her through the Internet and had asked if she might have a moment or twenty to discuss a situation of which her opinion would have import as to how I deal with a situation.  The conversation went well and she commented on how she appreciated the respect that I had paid her by asking if she would have time to discuss something.  I have always said the I would rather be lucky than good so in this case it was luck that I paid her repect since I knew that the topics to be discussed would be primarily about me this particular phone call so I knew(I guess this is where the respect comes in) that the person that I would be calling needs to be prepared to listen to my whining(Ruth later informed me that I did not whine…I was reticent to agree but finally acquiesced).  The call ended after more time than either one of us expected it to last.  Conversation flowed effortlessly with a comfort that only comes with true friendship.  Not everybody is able…?

Willingness is another factor for a friendship to remain.  Case in point is my recent lunch with Rex and Pam Rockhill from Fairfax.  Virginia.  Rex is a classmate of Ruth Johnson and myself.  He was in Texas visiting his daughter and son-in-law who live in Boerne, Texas during the school Christmas break.  Rex and I had hooked up on Facebook.  We then made tenative arrangements to meet for lunch.  I have to say that I was giddy with excitement.  It had been thirty plus years since their wedding day.  It was the same amount of years since I had seen either of them.  The willingness of Rex and Pam to take the time to come to Harker Heights is another example of  how a friendship can flourish.  Without their willingness I would not have the memory of our lunch together.  Not everybody’s able…!

More on the lunch and hopefully a picture of two in the days to come!!

Lucky…?  Ya, I would think so.  I lived through a farm accident involving a PTO, tractor, and loose clothing.  I lived through a traffic accident in which everyone went to the hospital by ambulance and I walked away unscathed.  There are to many construction accident stories to recount so I won’t even go into those but you get the idea.  I think these all had a commonality besides me being in them.  I think angels would be the common denominator.   Angels come in different forms.  My little brother Karl, was my angel the day of the farm accident.  What would prompt a little boy to shut off the PTO at exactly the right time to save his little brother?  I say an angel did.  I say an angel was with me when I was held upright while all around me was turning, toppling, or smashed in the traffic accident.  I say an angel was with me each day of my work keeping me safe as I go through the daily grind.  Oh sure…everyone tries to be safe.  No one tries to cause an accident.  There were those times when you have to wonder…. hmmm… that could have been me.  Yep, it has to be angels.

Blessed…?  Ya I would think so.  I am still here am I not?  Without regard to the aforementioned accidents there are other things to give thanks for as well.  First I was blessed to have been born to a loving family on a farm in Iowa.  another lucky?  Possibly, but this is more than lucky.  This is a blessed event that I will give thanks to God for the rest of my life.  I was given a life to learn and grow in a safe and loving environment.  I was shown how men act.  I was shown how friends are treated.  I was also shown how friends were made.  Ya I am lucky but I am blessed as well.

Yesterday,  I met with the Rockhill’s,  now from Virginia,  who were married almost 39 years ago in Kansas with me and several other high school friends in attendance.  Rex, my former classmate, and his wife, Pam,  came to town to visit with me and my wife.  We talked, laughed, and hugged.  Although we have never met in person since the wedding day I felt no change in the intensity of the friendship that once was.  Here was a friend who had reached out to say hello.  It was warm, refreshing, and the way it is supposed to be.

So yes,  I am lucky!  I have to many lucky stories to NOT know that I am.  Yes, I am blessed as well.  I thank God for that very thing each day!  But the way it is supposed to be,  is something that I am most appreciative of on this date.  It is another sign of what normal is becoming for me.  It is not the old normal.   That will never be again.  I am living a new normal. Meeting a friend of 40 plus years and having coffee with them for the soul purpose of saying hello, wishing each other well and being happy is a new normal that I relish.  This is the way it is supposed to be is it not?

So in the process of getting news sources I do happen upon the informative side of the Internet.  That would be my horoscope.  I never have been one to have any faith what so ever in astrology but I must admit that I read them all the time and laugh.  I would say to myself. “This stuff is so general in its meaning that it could apply to anyone.”  Then I would read it.  Think about it.  Then cast it off with a whim.  I gotta say that this little snippet of astrological information must be right!  This is no generalization of information but hits the nail right on the head.  This was written for me.

quoted text from an astrological reading found on the web while surfing the Internet today.

Your renowned intellect has been strained the last couple of years, as it’s been forced to find solutions to the many issues you’ve been dealt. In 2010, you’ll finally be gaining some traction on your biggest challenges, and solutions will flow to you with ease.

So armed with this knowledge from such a reputable source(the Internet) I submit to my readers this wish for a Happy New Year and rest my case.  It must be right.  It was on the internet.?!

I never go back to  dates in time.  I tend to remember a moment rather than a year.  So if I have different dates than what it really is I confess that now.  Accuracy is not as important as the feeling that it imparts.  And I have a feeling for a moment in my life almost 40 years ago that will bring new meaning to me soon since I am going to meet a schoolboy chum, teammate, and great adventurer for the first time since his wedding day.  Over the years we have spoken by phone upon occasion.   I think we have exchanged cards plus recently we have been doing the email and Facebook thing.  Rex has a twin brother Randy.  I have been in correspondence with him by email.  Rex and Randy had a rather large family and becoming entrenched in the family fun for the few moments that we did have…. was and is a treasure for me.

I never go back to  Larchwood, Iowa without thinking of the grade school i attended in that town.  It was a brave new world for me.  It would be a far cry from the country school education with the same 27 kids that I went to Kindergarten with.  It was a congregation of kids from four towns.  New people and names to boot.   It was here that I first met Rex.  On the play ground with he and his brother,  Randy.  I could see the family resemblance but they did not look like the Klien twins, who were practically identical.  They lived on a farm with a large family and a Grandpa that would later come to class and talk to us about how things were after the civil war.  Grandpa Rockhill  was in his nineties when he spoke to our class.  He was an interesting old man.  My remaining Grandfather had died in 1962.  My mother’s father died before I was born in the 40’s.  So Rex was someone that I wanted to be around.  He had a grandpa, a large family, lived on a dairy farm what was not to like?

I never go back to track team memories but my upcoming re-union with Rex has brought them to the fore.  In watching my young son Kellen run it brings to mind my own athletic prowess on the tartan turf.  It was in Lester, Iowa that this memory starts.  Every boy in the class is wanting to make the team.  Because of that fact it was necessary for the coaches to seperate the wheat from the chaff.  They set up a mile run that had to be completed in 8 minutes or less.  Anyone over the 8 minute mark would be cut from the team.  My son often asks me why he is the slowest runner in his class.  My answer is always hopeful but usually lacks any real enthusiasm for I know that the need for speed will not be an inherited trait passed on to my son from my gene pool.  Needless to say,  I did not make the cut that day.  But Rex did.  I remember that he and his brother Randy were pretty fleet of feet back in those days.  Some where along the track season Rex was going to compete in the 220 yard dash and he spoke to our  Coach and said, “Next year I am going to run a 27 second 220 yard dash.”  He was running in the 29’s then and I remember at the time thinking, “Boy I wish I could run that fast.”  I never did run that fast but never lost the hope to try.  That is what I want for my son.  A friend who helps him never lose hope to try.

I never go back to memories to change a defining moment.  Rex is a part of my defining moment on the road of life.  He and I had similar dreams as to what one can do upon graduation of high school.  We both partook in a little meeting held by an FBI agent in one of the school job fairs that we attended.  We filled out the forms and awaited a response from the FBI.  Rex and I were both offered jobs with the FBI.  Rex decided to take the job in Washington and I chickened out.  I instead went on to college.  Only later to drop out of school when my need for speed left me a second string football player who was never going to become a professional.  I wonder how it would have been had Rex and I gone together to start a new adventure.  It was a short time after arriving that Rex met and married his wife from Kansas in Kansas City.  I traveled with mutual friends, Stan Leuthold, Ruth Johnson (who later married), and Pamela Bunte (who I later married)to attend his wedding.  None of the travelers is still married to their respective fiance’ almost 40 years later but Rex still is.  He never looked back and his adventure continued.  He sought out and obtained a job as a policeman.  He held that position for enough years to retire.  Little did we know what we as couples were headed into as we flowed down the river of life.  The currents of the river of life pulled us to different shores of the same river.  Our lives have had a separation of physical self but my excitement for meeting up with a long lost friend cannot be measured.  I look forward to our meeting.  I hope that this will be another moment to be remembered as one that can never go back.

Hey,  I have had a lot of good ideas.  I remember back in 1983 having a need for a cover ( this is before tonneau covers that are ubiquitous now)on my truck bed to protect boxes which contained milk meters that I used to test milk production of area dairy herds for DHIA(Dairy Herd Improvement Association).  I used some plywood which I painted, a piano hinge, a few 2×4’s, and some wood screws that I had at the farm.  Simple and rudimentary,  yet it did serve my purpose.  It was a prototype.  All of my friends laughed at me when I placed it on my brand new truck.   Especially after I ran into a ditch during a snow storm in January 1984 on an Iowa farm road where it remained in the ditch.  Essentially becoming firewood and not to be resurrected again.  OK… I said it was a good idea.  So what if it was a bad prototype.

That memory is something that I can use for the future.  I need to go about building a prototype of my future.  (OK, readers this is not a new idea… of that I am fully aware)    Visualize it and it can become a reality.  Like the prototype afore mentioned memory of a future can be built but it is built from need and not experience.  Many years did I dream of the future.  Each season I made the trek to the union hall to  find the job that would supply me and my family with the needs of the upcoming year.  I knew my limits so my expectations became real the more experienced that I became in the construction trade.  I had tangible experiences to make reference to how life could be for me and my family.

As a cancer survivor my future tends to be more immediate.  Much to my detriment, unfortunately.  It is hard to visualize a future with out the tangible experience.  I remember trying to get over the anxiety created when I had to wait for a friend who was on an airplane that was delayed.  Nothing I could do about it but I still obsessed over it  I also remember being asked a question and coming apart at the seams while having no understanding as to why it was bothering me.  I remember being so happy completing my treatments and heading home.  A week later I remember collapsing in my home for no apparent reason other than weakness.  Non of these are good for future dreams others than to have to worry about any of these maladies coming to a head again some time in the future.  I must add one last note…I did make it.  That is a good thing!!

Which brings me to the point of today’s little blog.  On the 12th of January I go to  San Antonio, Texas to have a Pet/CT scan to find out if I am still cancer free.  I likened  this trip to my seasonable trip to Alaska.  It is an experience that has been a positive for me.  The journey that cancer has given me has few bad memories.  There was pain, fear, and trepidation.  Although none of them a good thing.  Now as a memory it gives me strength in knowing that I have had a good run so far.  I can use the positive memories the many Pet/CT sans that I have had in the past and make it a tangible good experience. Although the physical pain is gone now I can still have fear and trepidation just like I had done so many years when I would trek to Alaska. I know my limits.  I need to maintain my faith in God.  My expectations have become real.  So it is my expectation that the tests will remain positive.

The last thing to mention in this blog is the fact that no matter the outcome I have faith that God will lead me through the needs and the experiences and be better for it.

It is Christmas day and all through the Hage house  all creatures are playing there isn’t one grouse.

Our tummy’s all fed as the wife fed us well.  Did the kids do wash the dishes pray tell?

With kids all jolly with new pajamas on.  Jonathan with reeboks and Kellen with socks on.

The tree is shining of good Christmas cheer.   Credit the wife for with out her it would not be here.

Candy canes hanging on boughs of the tree with colorful bulbs of variety.

Our dog is a following close to each lad hoping for droppings from the food that they had.

The TV is on our computers are booted. The dog is in his cage now as if he was rooted.

The fun of the day is only but started the day almost over since we(Ellen and I) are retarded( pronounced… retired).

A call from the daughter who is visiting afar keeps the wife all talking and out of the car.

No shopping this date for the family of Hage.  Just good times and cheer for memories made.

I am thankful today to be here alive.  God has been with me always as I continue to survive.

The cancer came fast.  My family did struggled. God’s grace shown through despite all the muddle.

I am glad to be here I am lucky to say.   God’s love is for real and he has shown me the way.

For the poor readers that have read this stuff  I know it was rough.  I beg your indulgence I know you are tough.

So keep coming back to my musing blog the annual poem day of Kirk Lewis Hog.(Hage didn’t rhyme)

This in turn made me ponder the same kitchen a year ago.  I started the day the same.  Wake up…check.  Stretch…check. Get out of bed slowly…check.  Get dressed and go into the kitchen…check.  Hmm..nothing much has changed.  Next would be the coffee procedure.  Still no change.  A year ago I would sit down and wait for the coffee pot to make its cycle.  Often times I would wait motionless.  Feeling the energy come back to my body.  There were times that I would shake, tremble, and become chilly.  My hands and feet constantly clammy and cool.  Finger tips numb from the cold.  This morning I walked directly to the left over pot of coffee and poured a cup.  Put it in the microwave to heat it up.  Today I made the machine ready for  the next pot while the micro wave was doing its thing.  But then I noticed a coffee stain.  I know what  your thinking.  So what!!  Well,  the difference is I took the time to wipe it up.  Then I took the time to wipe something else up.  I may have spent five minutes doing this kind of thing(It probably was a 30 second job for most but I do things slowly these days).  Only then did I get the cup of coffee out of the microwave to go and sit down to survey my kingdom.  It really does not seem like much now does it?

No,  it is not much.  Yet,  it is something.  I have spent a lot of time deriding my condition.  Constantly wanting to get back to normal.  I believe that I spent so much time worrying about getting back to normal that I have stymied my health.  Not any more.  I need to get on the stick and do what I can do and not what I once did. That stated,  I am pretty sure that this statement is easier said than done.  So far that would appear to be the case.  I am older.  I am wiser.  I am skinnier and I have considerably less facial hair from this experience.  When you look at it from that stand point… what are the negatives????

On an aside…Kellen is home and I am glad.  Soon to be Christmas so Kellen will become more of the blog feature in the next days and weeks of this Christmas season.  Just thought I would offer  a short story of Kellen, my 9 year old son.  During the school year Kellen is forever fighting sleep each night.  Always with the excuses about not needing any sleep.  Well,  his first night away from the school bedtime bewitching hour he volunteers to go to bed early and sleeps late.  Go figure???