LDKBox

On Sunday morning I was returning from a bass fishing trip in Decautor, Texas with friends that my wife and I had made when we last had a cruise out of Galveston, Texas in July of last year.  I had a great time.  I  enjoyed the banter amoung the camping fisherman. The eternal campfire was tended with respect and joy as it provided light, warmth, and sustenance for all who gathered around its inviting smokey glow.  It cooked up beans, bacon, onions, and chicken to suffice us until the bountiful harvest of the lake produced fresh bass, perch, and catfish.  Although the camp provided no ameneties other than the lake, fish, and dead wood no one in our camp mustered up nary a complaint.  It was all about the fishing, eating, and friends both old an new.

I was the oldster of the crew.  One member was a cohort in the same trucking company as the the friend that invited me and the last man was an entrepreneur of the housing market.  All were married and all were in their thirties with families.  One had nine children.  (Boy did I take a deep breath when I heard that one!)  The common link between us all was the fact that we were there.  I did not even grab a pole the whole time at the camp.  Between keeping the coffee percolator going and tending to the fire by gathering wood I managed to do very little else while continuing to have a good time watching the antics of good friends on a fishing trip.  Each had an embarrassing story to tell about each other.  Always the last topping the former.  Guffaws often turned to tears because our sides hurt from laughter and our smile muscles were getting a work out as well.

Because it is a natural camping area with out any services provided each participant brought a truck load of items.  In fact I ordered items from Cabela’s last evening just because of the fishing weekend.  One can never have enough cast iron when working around a fire pit.  It will be nice to have my ordered items for the Cub Scout crossover ceremony scheduled for the 14th of May upcoming.

The events of the last weekend gave me hope for the future.  It has been said that everyone needs something to look forward to. Always have a plan for the future.  Our family had a plan for this years vacation and it started the next day after our last cruise.  Now the new trip is planned and paid for through family involvement and self sacrifice.  I purchased the items from Cabela’s with a plan for the future.   Kellen’s Cub Scout crossover ceremony will only be one of many in the years to come.  I plan on being at every campout with cast iron in tow.  I also purchased the items for the next time that I go on a guerilla fishing trip in Decautor, Texas with my cruise friend, his cohort and the entrepreneur.  I have something to look forward to outside of family but still in a warm and fun atmosphere.  I think I finally found some Texas friends.  I am truly a lucky fellow.

Comments (0) Apr 14 2010

I don’t seem  to be consistent with my blogs.  I received my blog count today and found that even if I don’t write there is someone out there that is thinking of me.  Thank you to all who took the time to stop by the blog.

I have been steadily getting better in my health and wellness of the total body these last months.  I went through a bevy of doctors and tests to come to this part of my life.  Being satisfied has not been one of my motivators in life.  It would seem that the most pronounced  change in my that was the hardest to come to terms with was the fact that it is alright to be satisfied.

It always seemed to me that the message I heard as a youngster from older folks was to work hard and make your mark.  These people were not monetarily rich  yet they seemed happy and content.  Living seemed to be the commonality of all the folks that I recognized as role models.  Living is something to cherish.  It is also something that needs support.  Part of the support needed for living is participation.  When one lacks incentive to participate one loses part of life in the process.  I do not like admitting to this but trying to find an incentive to find my deepest and darkest thoughts were lacking in fortitude and desire.  It is simply easier to do nothing.  Something is lost when one fails to participate.   To bad my latent lazy tendencies started to show when I needed them the least.  Never fear I do believe that I see them far in the background and they are fast approaching invisibility.  Not with out my best efforts to the contrary though.

Which brings to mind my flower garden in front of the house that I planted three weeks ago.  It is 36 square feet of hell that I did to myself.  I remember having to scoop the whole thing into a trailer from a neighbors pile of dirt.  It took several days but I managed to get the little space of hell filled with a foot of good Texas soil. ( IF there is such a thing as good Texas soil compared to Iowa soil.)  The first year we raised pygmy vegetables.  Looked pretty but the yield was minute.  This year I have forgone the possible epicurean rewards for a little bit of color and garden art.  I can’t paint but I do love the vibrant colors of flowers growing against the brilliant green of my lawn.  If the garden were to take a form  or shape it only accents the palate of which it has been set.

First,  I purchased the flowers on a Saturday morning at Lowe’s.  I returned home and placed them in the planter still in their plastic little container.  The placement gave me an idea of how it was going to look.  In my minds eye it was brilliant.  A sculpture in flower petals all the colors of the rainbow.  Then I went in the house and forgot about them.  The next morning we had a frost.  the flowers did not look to good.  They had dried out in the afternoon sun.  Then were beat down by the early  morning frost.  I planted them anyway.  What the heck…?!  I spent the money…??!!  They can’t grow if they are not planted.  They don’t grow well if they are dead either.  Which for all intents and purpose they were dying when I planted them.

After three weeks and one replant I am happy to say that despite my best efforts to kill these flowers off with to much water, tilling,   herbicide, and fertilizer they seem to be growing.  I had fresh flower buds growing from the base of almost every flower.  My flower garden happens to be a good metaphor of my own existence these last few years.  The frost and water happened to be my cancer.  The flowers are me.  The doctors are the tilling.  The chemo and radiation are the herbicide.  My faith, family and friends  are the the fertilizer.  Like the flowers despite my best efforts to foil my recovery I have managed to still be here and growing.  Thanks God for fertilizer.

Comments (0) Apr 05 2010

IT has been a long time since we last met.  For this I apologize.  There are /were a lot of reasons for not writing of late.  None of them were good.  It is not like I have been doing anything.  To bad I was not brought up Catholic.  IT would make it easier to accept the guilt that I feel for those that have so faithfully stopped by my site to see what or perhaps better stated “If” I had posted anything.  For weeks I never even thought of my blog.  I was to busy feeling guilty.  So on to my tale.

As mentioned I have a lot of men to look up to when thinking back on my life.  Some light, some fat, some bald, some educated and others self educated.  Most but not all had jobs, family, and everyday life happenings.  Which we all know can be trying and tense.  When I considered these men I had been thinking in my minds eye of a man that is not a long time friend but he certainly is a memorable and honorable man.  You know… the kind that of person that you want to be around because they are so much fun…. a cool guy.  I started thinking of him before I considered the topic.  We met in a school parking lot while we were waiting for our children to get out of school.  As the days progressed we started talking about this and that.  Sooner than later we started leaving the house earlier and earlier to see if the other was wanting to talk.  Realize that we are both retired but he is picking up a grand son and I am picking up my son.  He is twenty years my senior and is excellent health.  Enjoying retirement with his wife that had together operated several businesses in town and she was a real estate agent  full time.

Over the time our friendship grew and my own personal attachment to him became quite strong.  He literally marked the first male friend that I had ever had in Texas.  Come to find out this guy is an avid fisherman.  He and his wife go out fishing two or three days a week.  He eventually invited me out one day when his wife was going to be out of town.  To make a long story short I never had a better day telling tall tails while fishing.  I soon found out that he felt the same way.  I must also mention that Willie( I guess I should mention his name) was a major help in my recovery of cancer after treatments.  He helped me through some tough times while listening to me complain about a pain or lack of energy, or the terrible flem coming from my throat.  I was able to say to him things that I know my wife was getting tired of hearing but I still needed to say.  He was a true friend….He listened.

Something happened to me that made me stay inside my house.  I stopped writing on the blog.  I stopped a lot of things.  Since Christmas I visited with a High School classmate here in Killeen and that is it.  I had become somewhat of a recluse….and enjoying it but feeling guilty (pick a topic/reason now).  Mention anything and I start to feel guilty.  Mention my friend Willie and I start to feel even more guilty.  Somehow,  since before Christmas I did not go to his house, see him at school, or call  Willie on the phone until just the other day.  I had seen his wife in the car many times at school but since the boy’s were coming out  different exits we did not talk much.  Parking at dismissal time is at a premium at our school.  I would walk to school from my house because of it.  We always waved at each other.  One day she waved me to the car while  at a stop sign and  informed me that Willie  was not feeling the best.  I took that information and did nothing for over a week.

Here is the point of this post.  I did nothing.  That in and of itself is not bad.  One can choose to not drink alcohol.  One can choose to not go to college.  In each of these there is an outcome.   Each has their own good and bad points.  Just like this blog I have put off.  I can honestly tell you that I have felt guilty about not writing more(not guilty enough to start but guilty non the less).  I feel even more guilt due to the fact that I did not see Willie when he needed seeing.  I just was not there.  Huh, some friend…. some writer…eh?

Well,  I saw Willie today.  He was worse.  Arthritist  is a terrible disease.  He is swollen from head to toe.  I need to see him more just like I need to write more.  This may not make much sense but I feel less guilty.  Dare I say I feel ….better?  after seeing Willie.  We laughed a little and we talked a lot.  Only this time I did what a friend is supposed to do….Listen.  So with that knowledge I guess I should get to bloggin.  That is what bloggers do…is it not?

Comments (0) Mar 26 2010